Woke up today with some fuss. Apparently, a huge moth seem to have taken up residence in the house. It was the same moth i saw a couple days ago, resting on the balcony's wall. It had flew away when i approached it. But it was back again by last night. Well... i assume that it's the same moth since all moths look the same to me, and the size of it made it kind of peculiar.

My brother and i then switched on only the balcony lights, and operated under the cover of darkness. Considering that he was gearing up in army uniform for reservice or something, it did seem kind of weird. But it seems flourescent light is a whole lot different from flickering light.

I did consider taking a bamboo stick to poke at it, to egg it towards the balcony light. But then decided against it becoz the moth might actually be a visiting relative in the form of a spirit-moth. Why would i want to chase away relatives, rite?

There are those who would say that if i didn't believe in gods up there, i shouldn't believe in spirits and ghosts. It is the same rational, that there is no evidence for such things. And it's almost the same as me asking a christian why he/she is afraid of ghosts. If so sure of their beliefs they are, then they wouldn't mind watching horror movies.

The question is of course on me, not on them. So i rationalize. Given the Pascal's wager, the positive wager for spirit-moths existing demands more immediate bidding than the positive wager for god. For the moth is flying around in the house and scaring the wits outta me, while eternal damnation is still some time away.

The key to the dilemma would than be in the intepretation of the moth. Is the moth a spirit-moth or really god flying in the house? Then i would appeal to social consequences and peer pressure. Believing that a moth is a spirit-moth, makes me superstitious while believing that a moth is god speaking to me, kind of makes me a looney, even by theist's standards.

Then what if the moth is really just a moth? What moral obligations then does it hold me to not make an attempt on the moth's life? Once again i would question the validity of the assumption that a moth that is neither a spirit-moth nor god would turn me into a psychopath.

I remember a story, about either Confucious or one of his disciples. It talked about a guy blowing out the candles to study in darkness so the moths won't fly into the flames. Fatal attraction. The moral of the story escapes me quite, but it seems to teach that moths are really harmless little creatures. Not much harm in letting it breathe some of the oxygen in my house before heading out to the harsh world out there rite?